Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
