It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
