I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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