You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
