8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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