How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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