How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
