And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
