the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I party with great urgency now.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
