do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
if i died would you start the facebook group?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
