Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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