Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
