Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
