I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
