i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
