If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
