grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Apparently you make a good broom.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
