are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
