My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
