That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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