I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
