What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Randomize
