So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
