do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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