I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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