Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
