if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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