Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
