please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
