Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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