so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
