I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
