He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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