ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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