Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
