Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize