when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
