I want to walk on stilts...naked
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
