farters have to be the big spoon...
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
