How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
