i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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