Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
