did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
