carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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