Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
