Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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