Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
