I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
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