When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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