I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize