We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
