Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I need a beard to bite.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize