That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
