Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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