I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
pop tarts are not kleenex
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You ate ashes out of my bong
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
