she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
