He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
