I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize