When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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