im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
She told me I should be a condom model.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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