you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
