this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
